The Yiddish Curse Generator

In the tradition of the Surrealist Compliment Generator, now comes the Yiddish Curse Generator (actually called, for some reason, Yiddish Curses for Republican Jews), with instant classics like the following:

May you grow like an onion with your head in the ground, and then may the ground be fracked.

May you find yourself lost and stranded in a village of Palestinian Muslims, and may you be treated only with dignity, kindness and respect.

May your insurance company decide constipation is a pre-existing condition.

May you have a large store, and have it all dismantled by vulture capitalists.

May you spend your whole life supporting and voting for and sending money to Israel, and may you one day be actually forced to move there.

May you feast every day on chopped liver with onions, chicken soup with dumplings, baked carp with horseradish, braised meat with vegetable stew, latkes, and may every bite of it be contaminated with E. Coli, because the government gutted the E.P.A.

May G-d give you a daughter-in-law who is as kind as she is beautiful, as patient as she is rich, as wise as she is devoted, a virtuous woman in every way. And then may a ballot initiative invalidate her marriage to your fat lump Rebecca.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: